Order, Beauty, and "THE CHART" - how we make our home run smoothly amidst the chaos!

I talk a lot about beauty in this blog.  I also talk a lot about order and organization.  Both things are near and dear to my heart.  And I actually would assert that the two go hand in hand.  When there is order to things, it helps to make things clear.  It enables you to see and do what is needed.  And beauty in its purest forms also makes things clear.  It points us (knowingly or not) to perfect beauty,  perfect clarity, which is God.   So when I do things to bring order to my home, it may not get the same effect as looking at Notre Dame Cathedral, but it does bring a sort of beauty into my home.  It brings clarity and peace.  And those are beautiful things.

I think order is so important to me because I grew up with a Mom who was very organized and tidy.  For the first 8 years of my life the house was clean, I knew where to find what I needed, meals were on the table each day and night, and the house just seemed to run seamlessly.  Then when tragedy struck and my Mom was no longer able to run our home, we all did the best we could to keep things going,  but it was messier and somewhat unpredictable. And to an 8 year old, such a drastic shift brings worry and confusion.

As an adult, I have come to learn that order makes me feel safe and at peace.  And so for my own sake as well as the sake of my children (I want them to feel secure and safe and peaceful in our home), I work very hard to maintain order and peace in our home.  With 6 children (and one in the oven), homeschooling, outside activities, and just life....it takes a concerted effort for sure.  We have tried many things throughout the years depending on children's ages and ability levels, as well as the needs and demands of family life at different times.  Certain things have been around from the beginning and other things have evolved.  This post is going to tell you what we are doing now and why and how it helps us to maintain the order and peace in our home that is so important to me.  I hope I can clearly explain it to you in a way that gives you a sounding board for your own family.

So without further adieu, I present you with, "THE CHART:"

First of all we break our day down by the natural ebbs and flows of the day.  We have:

~Morning Routine

~AM Chore

~Post Breakfast clean-up

~4:00 Clean-Up & Dinner Prep

~Post Dinner clean-up

~PM Routine

When my kids were little, we did all of these things together in some capacity.  They always wanted to help, so I always found a way to let them help.  Only as they got older did charts and such become part of the routine.  First with picture charts to help them become more independent in their morning and evening routines.  Then came more elaborate charts with breakdowns of chores and who does what to make sure we were all pulling our weight ( meaning that I wasn't just putting all the work on the older kids because i knew they could get the job done).  The charts enable each member of the family (at there age and ability level) to know how and where they can pitch in and learn what it means to be part of a family....That we all help each other, and together we make this house run. 

This year we are using a color coded chore chart.  We have done that before.  It makes it easy to see who does what job and it is fun for the kids because we let them pick their own color.  In the past we have given each kid a job or two and they kept it for a certain amount of time (1 week, 1 month, etc.).  I have found that to be too much for me to manage.  I have enough going on without having to worry about whose turn it is to do what this week.  And I don't like to have to print out new charts every week or even every month for that matter.  Plus, I noticed kids getting bored easily and not doing as good on "their" chore the longer they had it.  But what I noticed most was that doing it that way wasn't really bringing a sense of "us working together" to the house.  Everyone was only willing to do "THEIR" job and there wasn't a whole lot of charity going on.  So, this year everyone is still color coded, but people have different jobs each day.   Everyone gets a chance to do each job (if they are old enough to do it), no one gets bored, and if the 9 year old doesn't quite have enough elbow grease on the bathroom one day, the 12 year old is hitting it the next day, so overall the jobs are done well enough because of the rotation.  We also pair the littlest kids with an older kid to teach them how to do the jobs that are age appropriate for them.  Then when they are old enough, they will be able to just take that job and be independent.  It helps the little kids feel big and I just love watching the older kids "teach" the little ones stuff.  It melts my heart.  

Rotating jobs daily has also allowed me to start "training" the kids one on one each day in the kitchen.  Each of the top 4 have a morning where they are in charge of cooking breakfast.  The night before I work with whichever child is cooking the next morning to get them set for their meal so they know what they need to do to get breakfast on the table the next day.  The older the kids, the more cooking that actually occurs (think eggs, sausage, pancakes).  For the younger the kids, its more like toaster use (waffles, bagels) or just setting out the cold breakfast stuff (cereal, muffins, yogurt).  I also am working one on one each night with kids making dinner.  It is my goal to have the top 2 kids able to make a handful of meals each 100% independently before the new baby is born.  They love doing it and are so proud to put a meal on the table.  And it will be sure a load off my shoulders and a blessing to this house to have them able to serve in that way once the baby arrives.  For the littler kids, its just time in the kitchen with Mom that my oldest kids used to get all the time when I had more time. So when these kiddos get older, they too will be able to tackle bigger and more complex meals just like their older brothers are now.  Cooking is my creative outlet.  I love cooking and feeding people and I love sharing this with ALL of my children.  Finding a way to make this happen is the best part of "the chart" for me.  I felt like it had been falling by the wayside because I just couldn't figure out how to "find the time," but now it is fitting into our daily flow and it makes me so happy.

Now that I have explained it all, here is a picture of "THE CHART" in all its glory.  

The only other thing I haven't addressed is the "Friday" section at the bottom of the chart.  Fridays are our light schooling days. We usually only have 1-2 subjects to do and are done by around 9:30am. So on Fridays we do what I call a "Friday Clean Sweep."  That is where we do the more heavy duty cleaning that we just can't get done throughout the week.  All week we keep things tidy.  Friday we deep clean- vacuum, dust, heavy scrub bathrooms, mop, and windex.   Everyone has an assigned job or zone (these rotate monthly).  We bust it out together, music blaring, and are usually done by lunch time.  Then we are DONE!  Its such a great feeling.  

Aside from this master chart, I have these charts in each room so that whomever is "on duty" knows just what is expected of them.  Upstairs in the hallway outside of the kids bathroom is where the "morning and night routine" charts hang, so everyone can check and see that they have done all the things that need doing.   Here is a collage of some of those charts.

I know it all sounds like a lot, but like I said this has been building slowly from the very beginning of having toddlers.  And as the kids have grown and become able to do more, it has been a natural progression.  Running a home is not a magic formula.  Every family has things that work for them.  This is what works for us.  If it can spark an idea to help you maintain peace and order in your home, wonderful.  If it stresses you out...just move on and do what works for you.  We are all finding our way together.  

~God Bless Your Home and Your Upcoming School Year~

If you have any questions or comments, I'd love to hear what works for your family or help you get a solid footing on something that maybe isn't working but you would like to see work better in your home.  Comment below.  I love chatting about this kind of stuff!!!  

Teaching from Within

Being a parent in today's day and age is no small feat.  We have it so much easier than our predecessors in so many ways with modern technology and all the helps it can bring us.  Yet at times when I step back and look, it seems to me that we have it so much harder.  Physically, yes, our life is so much easier.  We have washing machines, microwaves, air conditioning, and grocery stores.  We don't have to LABOR as hard as our ancestors.  And even though I would in no way want to give up indoor plumbing and all that it brings, I find myself pining to go back to the days of old.  I know life would be harder....every day bringing on the the struggle to stay alive...but that struggle is clear cut.  You do what you need to do.  If you don't, you will die.

But now, the question of what we "need" to do is no longer a question of need and so much more a question of want.  Should our kids to have piano lessons so they can acquire the skill of music and the benefits that come from that?  Should our kids to play sports so they can learn teamwork and stay active and healthy?  Should I get my teen a cell phone or not?  And the list goes on....  These really are wants. And yet as parents, we find ourselves overwhelmed by the pressure of these choices for our children.  We question ourselves constantly. "If we don't do x, will little Johnny grow up without a certain skill set? Are we robbing him of what he "deserves" as a child?  We stay awake at night, tossing and turning over making the "right" choices for our children so as to give them everything they "need" to survive in the world.

But survival these days is not about actually physical survival.  It's not about life or death. It's about giving our kids an edge.  And everyone has an opinion of how to best do that.  Everyone is looking and judging you on what you are or are not doing for your child(ren).  At least it feels that way.  But we can't give them everything.  Nor should we.  What do we really want for our children?  Do we want them to be given everything, and to know no suffering or struggle?  Sort of, because we want to protect them.  Its natural.  But, what they really need us to do is to PREPARE them.

As an adult facing the world and all of its realities and responsibilities, did/do you feel prepared?  What does that even mean?  To me, it means ready and able to face something.  So...if I want my children to be prepared to face life as an adult, I want them to have some basic skills.  Like...we all need to eat, so I would like them to know how to grocery shop and cook.  If we can learn how to garden together so they can supply some of their own food, that would be awesome, but at the very least, they can maneuver the aisles of the store and then know how to turn that food into something edible (and hopefully enjoyable).  We all need to be clothed, so they need to know how to do their own laundry.  We all also need shelter, so they need to know how to take care of a home by daily tidying and regular cleaning and maintenance (such as mowing lawns, fixing a leaky faucet, and so forth). And to be clothed, fed, and sheltered they need to learn how to make and manage money. So some form of earning (whether from an out of the home job, or inside the home jobs they get paid for) has to occur and we need to teach them how to budget that money.

Those are all the physical needs of the human person, but we also want to prepare our kids for relationships.  We all have a need to love and to be loved.  This is probably the hardest water to charter, but the most important.  And we as a society seem to be looking to outside sources to provide the opportunities to teach these lessons to our children - through sports teams and clubs (I am not saying any of these avenues are bad, by the way).

But it all starts at home.  This basic need to love and be loved is best nurtured in the home.  They first see it in the way we treat our spouses.  Are we respectful in the way we speak to our husbands/wives.  Do we seek ways to serve and not be served? Do we listen to each other?  Do we apologize when we are wrong?  Do we laugh together?  And the same with our relationships with our children.  And fostering the relationships between siblings.  How much time, energy, and effort are we spending growing a beautiful family life within our own four walls when the world is constantly urging us outward?  How much simpler would our lives be if we weren't constantly caught up in the hustle and bustle of what the world is telling us we have do and serving outside relationships before interior ones?  We have this notion that we need to teach our children how to treat everyone else.  But they will pass onto the world that which they know and have experienced within their own home.  There is a reason the saying, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" exists.

So, as a type-A, get things done kind of gal; one who stresses about all the things I have written about today, I am urging you (and myself) to do less.  Focus inward.  Build your legacy by building your family relationships and teaching your kids the basic skills of life.  So when they grow up and have a family of their own, they are prepared.  Prepared to live and love.