My Magnum Opus

If we are being honest here, I have no idea really what I am doing in this role of mother.  I grew up without the hand of a mother to guide me from the ripe old age of 8.  Yet I have known since forever that a mother is what I wanted to be.  Sure, I toyed with the idea of other occupations over the years - marine biologist, teacher, marriage and family counselor - but building a family has always been at the center of my heart.  It is my life's work.  My magnum opus.  

And it's scary and hard work.  Because it is sacred work.  And I am not worthy of it.  None of us are, really.  Yet we have been gifted with the task of building cathedrals. 

"The most important person on earth is a mother. 

She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. 

She need not. 

She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral–

a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body... 

The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. 

They cannot share in God's creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. 

Only a human mother can. 

Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other human creature.

 God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation... 

What on God's earth is more glorious than this: 

to be a mother?" 

~ Mindszenty 

So often I feel as though I lack the proper tools for this task.  Partially because of my background.  But also  because of my own vices and character flaws.  And because I want it to be beautiful; a worthy gift to the Father who gave me life and granted me this beautiful task of motherhood.  

So what does one do when they are faced with a task of such magnitude and they aren't quite sure they can give what is being asked of them??? When you are staring at all the "materials" but you don't know how to make them fit.  Or you make them fit, but it's not quite how you envisioned it to be.

You never give up.  You get up each day and you keep trying.  You pray without ceasing and you keep putting one foot in front of the other.  You do your best and leave the rest to God.  You ask for forgiveness.  This is how the sharp edges become smooth.  And the windows let in the light.   

You never quit.  And you ignore the voices that tell you it's too hard or that you aren't good enough.  You love beyond your capacity to love.  Past the fear.  You just keep fighting.  That is where the beauty begins and the victory is won.

(Even when continuing the fight is simply putting on a movie so you can regroup...they will think you are awesome and you get the time you need to continue your cathedral building with much more grace.  Just keeping it real).

And I leave you with another quote, that is near and dear to my heart as I fight each day to build my 6 cathedrals.  

“It is not the critic who counts; 

not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, 

or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. 

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, 

whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; 

who strives valiantly; 

who errs, who comes short again and again, 

because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; 

but who does actually strive to do the deeds; 

who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; 

who spends himself in a worthy cause; 

who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, 

and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, 

so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls 

who neither know victory nor defeat.”

~Theodore Roosevelt

Strive Valiantly. Dare Greatly. Be Not Afraid.  

You are doing glorious work, Mama! <3